family · motherhood · my identity · weight · weight loss

No Real Title Just My Ramblings

Have you ever seen that picture of yourself and went, “Oh My Gosh, how did I let myself get like that???” I just had that moment watching a video my husband taped of our daughter seeing a rainbow. It was a great moment caught since she was so thrilled about her first rainbow but the split second I saw of myself, my body, has left a scar in my retinas that may never heal.

I know, I’ve just had a baby. And I know, I’m working out. And I even know that it takes time…but damn, time takes time.

I saw a commercial last night, the ancestry.com and it flashed up a picture of a woman, not skinny, posing very confidently from the 1920’s. I realized that I don’t pose confidently in any pictures, no matter what size I am. I realized that I’ve never felt comfortable with my body. How sad, to be trapped in this vessel for so many years and yet to never feel comfortable being myself. No, I’m not perfect and I certainly would like to look differently at this moment but why can’t I still feel good about myself in the mean time?

Why is my value of myself placed on my weight? It shouldn’t be….

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3 thoughts on “No Real Title Just My Ramblings

  1. Being beautiful isn’t being thin! I feel its what’s inside that makes you beautiful. You have to let that wonderful sweet beautiful person who is on the inside shine on the outside. Your smile, your laugh, your kind loving heart….that’s when i see beauty! no matter what the scale says you should be confident in yourself and others will see it to! My best friend is a big girl but she is beautiful to me because of the love and friendship she has given me. Toni you are beautiful too!!!!!!

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