Dear Papa · faith · family · family traditions · family trips · God · Jeremy · loss of a parent

Living Through The Pain

We head back to Memphis tomorrow; it will be my first visit since Papa passed away. Sean’s family will be staying at the house, which is a relief to know everything here will be cared for. Tonight, as I’m packing and as the anxiety builds, I keep reminding myself that even though it may be hard, it will be do-able. The one thing I’ve learned through the loss of my parents is that if I’m still breathing then the good Lord still has something for me to do here.

There have been several times within the past few months that I didn’t believe I’d be able to make, I seriously questioned whether my mental and physical being would survive the emotional pain I was experiencing. I could feel the Lord’s Spirit with me during those times, but even so I questioned, repeatedly, “why…”

2 Corinthians 12:9

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

It’s time I placed my faith in the Lord rather than relying on my own understanding…easier said than done most of the time.

But tonight, I’ll take a moment to say that Papa’s presence, his physical hugs and words, will be greatly missed this

Papa with his Mother. Celebrating the summer birthdays 2009.
Papa with his Mother. Celebrating the summer birthdays 2009.

weekend. We typically would be celebrating his birthday along with several other family members, one being his grandson’s Jeremy. Oh yes, Papa, you will certainly be missed, and I will certainly shed many tears to simply acknowledge how important you were to me, but in the same breath, I’ll go on with life and celebrate another year with family. I will smile as much as I can, and laugh as laud as possible, and take every moment for the blessing that it is.

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