Just needing to let go…

Our class took a field trip over to a local school/home/work called Orange Grove. Yes, this is the second time we’ve gone there, once for each class. Anyway, we went into the classrooms today and I must admit, I felt uncomfortable.
With my kids I know what to do, I know how to act, I know what to expect, yet when I stood in these classrooms I felt so lost…and heartbroken.
Several times I thanked the Lord for my healthy children. Several times I still worried about my kids.
Just recently in class I had a mom of a child with disabilities say that people would tell her that God only gives kids with special needs to special parents, well she says thats not so. She said as a parent she just took responsibilty of her child, that its teachers that choose the field of special education that God has touched. I’d say she must be right. I studied psychology because I love humuan behavior, and well, lets be honest here, manipuating it as well. I never thought I would have ended up in special education and I never would have thought I’d be going back to school for it. I’d planned on going to law school at one time, yet now I spend my time laughing, loving moments spent with little people who look to me for guidance. God seriously changed my life path, and for the better, I know in my heart. 🙂
I’m still scared of Autism. I’m so scared of it I wont even actually type out what I’m scared of in connection with my own family. And then there are always brain injuries. Ugh, it seems I can go on and on and about can happen, but since I dont know what tomorrow may bring I guess I truly should just enjoy what I have at the moment.

2 thoughts on “Just needing to let go…

  1. Don’t feel uncomfortable. My cousin is now 30, and never developed beyond a 7 year old mentality, he obtained brain damage during birth when swallowing a bowl movement in the womb, they call it something, it starts with an M, anywho
    As much about the world as he does not understand, he understands God made him special =)

    Orange grove has done so much for him, even teaching him to work, as well as take care of him self. It’s a great program, with lots of great people.

    Everyone feels uncomfortable around special needs children, you could work with them for years, and sometimes awkward things happen or someone gets angry, anything, so don’t think anything about yourself for your feelings. Just be thankful =)

  2. I am terrified of Autism Spectrum disorders and TBIs (traumatic brain injuries) too. It is huge and scary! Little G turns 6 months tomorrow and except for a vit. K shot after birth (organic, no-preservatives) he has not received any shots. I am going to err on the side of caution with vaccines for a number of years. You can’t undo them or the damage they cause, whether the damage is autism or other, it is there and it is real. I am learning quickly that the role of motherhood is full of panic and fear, but I cannot let it control me. But oh how I loved so much being pregnant with G. At least then I knew where he was and that he was safe! 😉

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