decisions of a parent

I’m Feelin’ The Pressure!

It has come to my attention that we should possibly hold Jeremy back a year in school.
It takes us hours to complete homework and study for tests. He has just now caught up to a second grade reading level. I’d rather not start the 3rd grade behind again. I’d rather get the foundations down now before he gets too far behind and begins to suffer with a complex of failure.
Being an educator myself I know what the research says about holding kids back…it doesn’t really improve anything, but something has to give. He cries almost daily while doing homework. This is no way to live life, not being 7 and realizing how sucky it all is.
It’s hard as a parent to watch your child hurt. It’s hard to not know what to do to help. It’s hard to think, and know, that most kids have to fail and fail miserably before assessments are done or serious changes are made.
Parent – teacher conferences will be coming up soon; I’m not sure his teacher will agree but it’s a gut feeling that this is what needs to be done. Education is extremely important in this family, and I can not allow my son to be set up as high-risk and not be more proactive about it.
Do I think there is a learning disability? No, I just think he was too young to start and has had a hard time keeping up. I just made the wrong call way back when.

10 thoughts on “I’m Feelin’ The Pressure!

  1. Does it take him hours because he is bored? Because he doesn’t understand? I don’t know if holding him back will help or not. Is it possible to homeschool him this summer and decide at the start of the year what grade to put him in? My kid isn’t old enough for school yet so I don’t know the “rules”

  2. Sorry Toni – that’s rough. I would say to listen to and follow your gut. No one knows better than you what is right for your child. Karen

  3. Hey Toni,
    I was actually held back from 2nd to 1st grade. I was just not prepared and I didn’t know what I needed to know. It was really the best thing for me. And later in High School I ended up catching up to my grade level, and graduated right on schedule. So there’s always that hope that he could catch up with some summer classes. Just a thought for you. I know that decision must be hard, just pray about it. I know the Lord will help you make the right decision. I love you. We’ll be praying for yall.

  4. Hi Toni
    I am an educator too and I know everything that must be going through your head right now, but I would like to tell you that we must trust our instincts as mothers.
    In my very first job as a teacher, I had the honour to teach with a retired principal who was just helping out at our school. My child was born two days before the cut off point for going to school that year and I felt that she was not ready yet. When I told him my dilemma. he told me that in his 40 odd years of teaching, he has never seen a child that went to school too late, but many that went too early and were not coping. I decided to keep her back in nursery school for another year despite a lot if critcism from well meaning friends anf family. You wil know, the ‘but she is so bright’, and all of that. Today she is 28 and a very successful woman. That year she stayed back is long forgotten.

  5. I will be keeping you in my prayers. It is not an easy decision and so many parents stick their heads in the sand and ignore it when their kids have issues in school. I am proud of you for keeping your eyes open and striving to provide the best for your family. Hugs to you all!

  6. I would look into all other options before holding him back…possibly even have him tested for learning disabilities just to be sure.

    You said he was too young to start…does he have a fall birthday and could’ve waited another year to go to school? (I’m a September birthday)

    I like the summer home school idea, or you could look into a tutor. I think it’s great that you’re thinking about this now, though…if you do end up holding him back, I agree that’s it’s better to do it when they are still young.

    Good Luck!

  7. He has a summer birthday but since school starts in Aug. now he just made the age that he could start, so yes, he is one of the youngest in his class. He’s just been behind, pretty much a grade level, since starting school, and three years into it, I think something needs to change.

    I just don’t belive he would qualify for LD since his grades are decent, well, A’s and B’s but with a D in reading, which seems to be where he struggles, so as he struggles in all areas b/c they include reading. But then again, if you can maintain an A and B then you should be able to bring up that D to which we have not.

    But, as a parent, we need to rule out learning disabilities and so I will request some assessment.

    Thank, Rachael!

  8. I didn’t realize that holding them back wasn’t always helpful. I can’t imagine the stress or anxiety over your decision.

    On a lighter note, I was stopping by to say welcome to the SITStahood. We are so glad you could join and I hope that you are able to connect with many people who can relate!

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