I feel as if this birth is quickly approaching and I’m not so sure I’m ready.
Yes, I’m ready to have my body back. Yes, I’m ready to sleep on my belly again. And, yes, I’m ready to meet this precious baby. Sometimes I just doubt my ability to get him/her here.
I wish I could call up my mom and she would tell me that everything will be fine, that I’ll be able to do it, and I’d even make her promise to be there with me.
I guess thats the hard part, doing it without her. I know some may say, “well, she’ll be there in spirit, or she’ll always be in my heart,” but I will miss her physical presence. I havent planned on anyone being there besides me and Sean and to me, that will make it really special, but I cant help but realize that my mother will be missed. That she was to be a part of this birth. It would have only been natural for her to be there.
It has become natural for me to mourn for my mother. I’m sure there will come a day when I dont cry as often.