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As I was examining myself in the bathroom, I came to the realization that I need to love myself. Critiquing my body and obsessing over my weight has simply not brought any sort of peace or joy to my life.
I seriously have been obsessed with my weight and appearance for the last 4 years. I have yo-yoed with my weight since my teenage years and I can not remember a time that I was ever comfortable in my own skin.
I’m tired, people. I’m almost 36 years old and I’m damn well ready to be ok with myself. I’m damn well ready to feel good about myself.
I run 5K’s for goodness-sakes, I’m educated, I’m funny, hell, I’m even sexy when I let it all out. I need to stop beating myself up, accept what I have accomplished, and enjoy myself. And that’s what I plan to do from here on out.
Yes, I’ll always push myself to be better but instead of always just wanting the next level or a faster race time, I’m gonna actually start enjoying what I do in this body. I’m gonna appreciate what my body does for me when I go for a run and by doing so, I’m going to nurture it and take better care of it.
I’m also going to stop comparing myself to others and instead encourage others more in their own endeavors. It’s time, Toni, it’s time to find you, love you, and enjoy the many blessings you have. It’s time.