family · love · me as a wife · relationships

Carrigan’s Joy – The First Time Around

My husband and I met back in 2003 and were close friends until November of 2006 when we officially began dating, pic with seanand then in May of 2008 we were wed. It was a quiet wedding, just the two of us at our local court house, however, it was very intimate and special. We didn’t plan a honeymoon and nor did either of us seem to think twice about it, however, we were different people back then.

We were both healing from a great deal of pain. I never truly opened up to him until six years later, after the death of my stepdad. I knew in my heart that I had never truly trusted a man after my Dad left years before. I had grown to trust my stepdad and actually once I established that bond, I never felt the need to trust anyone else, except that I believe we are to leave our parents and join with our spouse, as one. In the 11 years that I’d known my husband, I had never truly allowed him to be apart of my heart and soul. I had never truly leaned on him for emotional support. I simply took what I needed and gave what I wanted and in the end, ended up with heartbreak.

It was my husband who began to make the turn around once he realized the pain I had placed myself in. It took months of arguing, praying, and individual time in prayer before my eyes were opened and I realized the situation I was living in and then I realized the partner I had in life that I could either team up with or isolate. When he presented me with my rings, asked me to marry him again, and began speaking of renewing our vows, I knew then that this was the opportunity to do it again and this time around, to really give of myself and invest in our marriage. It’s what I’d wanted all along, and now that I know Sean will accept me through the good and the bad, he will simply accept me and not desert me.

This time, my children, friends, and family will be a part of our ceremony. We will join together to remember a promise we made years ago, to restate that promise, and look forward to many more years ahead.

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